Dr. Frederick Chilton (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
slightlyoffchilt) wrote2013-10-01 10:26 pm
slightlyoffchilt) wrote2013-10-01 10:26 pm
Entry tags:
- IC CONTACT POST FOR MASKORMENACE -
"Hello.
You've reached the direct line of Doctor Frederick Chilton. As I am not available at the moment, you might assume I'm quite busy with something pressing. State your name and business, and I will return your call."
YOU MEAN... PERIODICALLY?
You fired him? Dramatic. I'm not sure he'll ever forgive you.
NO.
[ Which is just fine because Matthew Lin wouldn't see it coming when Walt tortured him for his torture of Jesse. Just because they severed ties, didn't mean all was forgiven. ]
It's not a bond that matters to me in the grand scheme of things, otherwise maybe I would have wasted my one phonecall on him both then and now.
[ But here Walt is, talking to YOU, Chilton. Doesn't that speak volumes ]
NITROGEN OXIDE?
[Which was also a lie. Chilton would invoke a clause to ensure Abduxel's protection against Crane -- at least, that's what the clause would state until the demon ever hurt Raina. Chilton had his priorities.]
Speaking of demons -- how long until Crane goes after your Jesse? I give it two months.
[A bit flippant, given what Walt had just said about his singular phonecall. That begged additional questions, of course, but Chilton didn't want to give his former patient the satisfaction of inquiry.]
I won't be waiting to protect him, either. Or you.
Especially not after whatever damage you had done.
>( STOPS FEEDING YOU
It's comforting to see you remain unchanged. Still there with the provocation, still as volatile as ever.
If Crane goes after Jesse, then we all get a good laugh. Jesse is immune, remember? Or perhaps you didn't realize, but given Jesse's abilities -- no mind altering substance can affect him.
[ And then, gently: ]
But you do realize, Chilton, the more damage I do -- the more destructive I am toward someone -- the more I appreciate and respect them, don't you? In spite of my better judgment, I care about you. Your well-being and your existence in my life. I wouldn't keep inviting you back if I didn't.
but... our chemical bromance!
[And what would be worse than that, for Walt? It was one thing if Pinkman was dead, and quite another if someone else possessed him.]
But perhaps that isn't a realistic outcome -- it's not like you're allies with that psychopath -- the man who is incapable of empathy and will literally do anything to further his own agenda. You're not that stupid.
[Chilton had, at some level, foundational faith in Walt's competency after all. Crane, unlike Chilton, had no reason to avoid hurting Pinkman -- surely Walter understood that.]
... The more destructive you are towards someone, the more you care about them? [Well that sounded EXACTLY THE SAME AS HANNIBAL LECTER.] I... [His hesitance couldn't be masked. Did Will ever suffer this trepidation, with regards to his destructively caring psychiatrist friend? Was Walter doing to Chilton what Chilton did to his own prize patients? Coaxing and punishing and adoring and manipulating -- but now with the promise of friendship?]
>:[
[ And what the hell is Chilton even trying to do here? Does he want Walt back or not? Because Walt was just as content to go on his merry way if not. Though there is that hesitation at the repetition of what Walt said. Was that some kind of progress? He didn't even know anymore. Walt rubbed his face with his hands. ]
You didn't realize that about me? In all of our interactions. All of our time together, were you really that blind? Do you know why I hated Will Graham? It was because I was jealous of what he had with you.
[ It was pretty weird for Walt to be the calm and rational one in this conversation. Not quick to anger. Not rising to the bait. ]
>8[NaCl] (salty)
-- And quite obviously I realized that about you, with regards to other people. [Like Pinkman. Prime example.] But no, not with me. Just, one final thing, before I schedule you in for Friday.
Hated. Past tense. You said you hated Will Graham. So, what changed? If you're really jealous. What did he have with me that you wanted?
[And how did Walt know that came to termination? Chilton already suspected.]
no subject
[ Walt raised an unseen brow at Chilton. And he had to wonder what the fuck Chilton did with Abduxel while he was away? God. It was something idiotic wasn't it? ]
I'm going to just keep my thoughts to myself. I have been singing your praises to Jesse all weekend about how you're not to be underestimated, and I really, very much, hope I'm wrong in what I'm thinking right now. Because my respect for you would just...
[ He trailed off. Deals with demons. Lured in by power. Had Abduxel really worked so quick on Chilton? Walt had been careful. Walt had never made any sort of deal with his subordinate. He never even said the word aloud lest it become a temptation for a demon to cling to. And Walt didn't buy that shit about Matthew and Chilton not interacting. Chilton was opportunistic. Chilton was greedy and wanted all of the spoils from the altercation. ]
You would greatly lose my respect.
[ And oops in regards to the Will Graham thing. The slip of past tense was unintentional. Though it wasn't something that likely wouldn't be brought up to Chilton on Will Graham's behalf anyway. At some point. So Walt would beat him to it first. ]
I spoke with him. After our argument. You might even say, I sought out a little empathy -- in regards to you. Turns out, we're not so different after all, are we? Of course, you kept Will as a house guest for far longer than the few hours you kept me.
But why be jealous of someone who no longer belongs to you? Someone who broke free? I hated the trust you had in him. And the lack of trust you had in me. I hated that there was someone else you saw as a patient that you could have regarded in higher terms than me. I hated that you could call him a friend, and those same words couldn't be applied to me.
But what I hate most, unrelated to Will Graham, is how much I relied on you and how much you turned out to be exactly the same as Jonathan Crane.
[ A pause. ]
We can be over, though, Chilton. We can be done. If that's what you want, we part ways from each others life right here. Right now.
no subject
What had caught his attention was the confession about Will Graham.]
You spoke to Will. [Of course. Of course he had.] A house guest -- at BSHCI? Do you even know what that acronym stands for? Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane. Will Graham was a convicted murderer held in a federal mental institution. One where I happened to be Chief of Staff. If you're going to pin Will's capture on me, you might as well pin it on the federal court system and the FBI, Behavioral Science Division, as well.
[Clearly Will had done nothing to clarify the circumstance, and Chilton in turn felt no need to clarify that Will had not actually murdered the people that he had been put to trial for.]
Moreover, Will didn't break free from me. He betrayed my trust, he flirted with Crane of all people -- knowing what Crane does, knowing what he did, Will had been idiotic enough to engage Crane. You may call me intolerant of stupidity, Walt, but I did what I had to do. [A beat.] It was not an easy pruning.
-- And honestly, calling me similar to Crane? Right back at you, Walter.
[It was irksome, that Walter had run tail between his legs to Will. Irksome that Chilton had to be reminded of that sacrifice. Will had been more than merely a patient, he had been a friend. And Chilton knew he had that connection in short supply.]
Is that what you want, Walter? You seem to be doing fine unwittingly courting dangerous people all on your own. Can't wait to see what you do next.
no subject
[ Walt answered in response to the Crane thing. The Will thing, well, so Will was a murderer. That's cool in Walt's opinion. He wasn't about to judge it. If anything, it made him even more relatable. They could talk about murder. Yaay~! ]
One by one, you keep losing people. Take a step outside your own ego for once, Chilton. I have by making this phone call. How many people do you actually have left and how long before you chase them away as well? From where I sit, I can only count two. Neither of which. Are human.
[ Goddamnit, Chilton. When are you going to give up and just say you want him back? Because that was all Walt was waiting for. ]
no subject
[But he wasn't going to mention Raina by name. Chilton was no fool, he understood Walt's possessive tendencies.]
You're missing the the point, however -- Will Graham's situation was different from yours. His was orchestrated by someone else, I was only the gatekeeper.
[As opposed to Walter, whom Chilton would take credit for as the orchestrator. Or rather, he could have taken credit for, had Walt understood the mutual benefit between them.]
If I take you back, how will I know you won't simply flee again?
[Funny thing about possessive tendencies: the possessor typically preferred a one-way flow.]
I had invested so much into you, Walter. More than any other patient currently on my roster. I need to evaluate the risk of losing all of that.
no subject
[ He was mocking. And he realized he was mocking -- falling back into old interaction habits. No. He had to be placating. Unfortunately for Chilton, Crane had already told Walt about his alien girlfriend and Alana Bloom. Quick to gossip, that bird. ]
Alright, alright. Fine. You weren't responsible for locking him up. And I'm sure you didn't sedate him either. And I'm sure his stay in your basement was comfortable and cozy.
[ But now. Finally they were getting somewhere. ]
Treat me like a human being, and you'll never lose me.
[ But that was always the problem. Chilton really didn't know how. Maybe he was at home with his demons and alien. And Jeff Winger. ]
no subject
[Which was why Chilton's unorthodoxy blossomed outside of federal institutions. Less oversight, more experimentation.]
Treat you like a human being. [He mused on that, almost mockingly.] And when aren't you acting bestial, Walt? When you're dosing me with dopamine? When you're attempting to sabotage me in conjunction with other former patients? When you're pretending to poison me?
If you don't have what it takes to qualify as a human, Walt, then aim for something better than humanity. You're already a better chemist than Crane, sure -- but is that really enough? Are you so complacent?
no subject
[ Exasperation sounded in his voice. Walt crammed another damn quarter in the phone. ]
Everything you've just said has been in response to things you have done against me. Ways you have wronged me. You bite and I bite back worse. You prod and I rip your arm off. The more you cage me, the more aggressive I become.
You have a problem. And that problem is called not taking responsibility for your actions. Where we are right now? That's all because of you.
[ Walt also had the same problem of not being able to take responsibility for his actions. ]
But even despite that. Not once have I moved against you since our fight. Nor is it in my plans. This phonecall is just it, my only move -- we either continue our therapy or we part ways, no hard feelings.
no subject
[Framed in the wording of a power game. A paternal power game, even.]
Contacting Will is a move against me. [And Chilton did not doubt that Walt had instigated other moves; the man was hasty and rash, and Chilton had already underestimated him once. That wasn't going to happen again.] Regardless of how you try to redefine "move" when it's applied from you to me.
Why do you want to resume treatment, Walter? Honestly. You don't like psychiatric help. You aren't seeing me for your health, it seems.
[The real underpinning question: was this Lucifer's influence, or not?]
no subject
If it was a move against you, then it was one that put myself at risk also. He's police. He's close to Hank. I needed to talk to someone and clearly YOU were out of the question. That is the reason I went to him. That's it. You always told me he could empathize and maybe that was what I needed.
[ Seriously. Whatever lover's quarrel was going on between Chilton and Will was their business. Walt had just needed companionship and reassurance.
And the second question gave him pause. To get revenge was the appropriate response, but. ]
Because I'm over it. It was a few days ago, and I've moved on.
[ Nope. Not Lucifer. Just Walt and his impulsive emotions again. A+ overreaction, bro. Enjoy that contract. ]
no subject
[Which meant that Chilton would accept Walter back as a patient. He considered the volatility of BPD -- Karla Sofen had been a sufferer, as well, and her emotional outbursts and need to control her relationships were rather paralleled to Walt's behavioral habit. The difference being that Walter didn't seem to care as much about his public persona as Karla had -- an appreciation that Chilton knew she had agonized to learn.
Perhaps that same painful lesson could be unleashed upon Walt, as well.]
Friday, in the morning?
no subject
[ But whatever. Fine. He was in. And that was all that mattered. ]
Morning? Our appointments were typically in the evening. I do have my jobs to work around. I'm not just available whenever suits you.
[ Difficult for the sake of being difficult. It was back to normal. ]
no subject
[But soon his dark tone lifted -- his response was spoken with a smirk.]
I've already found someone to take your prior scheduled slot. Mornings are open, or we can move you to Wednesday evenings.
no subject
[ Walt scowled. That pesky need for control rearing its ugly head. Walter was a creature of routine, having spent more time on a certain schedule than off of one. Work. Xaviers. Meth cooking. It all had its place. And now Chilton was forcing him to either change the time or the day of their appointments? Nope. Wasn't happening. ]
Then cancel their slot. I can't do either. I won't be back in town until Friday afternoon. And if that can't be changed, then sorry. I'm afraid we won't be able to meet.
no subject
[Chilton asked, genuinely confused. He was a man who, upon sheer majestic circumstance, had more a history of girlfriends than friends who were women -- at least, when outside of Baltimore. He had female patients, yes, and that sometimes overlapped with friends; April, for example. He had female acquaintances, like Bela, though he didn't talk shop with her. And then, professionally --]
The Major General. I forgot she was a woman, but that is an accurate summary. Yes, well, don't ever disparage me before someone I work with, and I won't bring up your name in such a manner.
-- Where are you, exactly? [No promises on canceling.]
hahaha oh my god chilton.
Why do you need to know that?
[ Who was he going to send? Had this not been tied up quite so neatly? Did Chilton intend on sending spies his way? ]
>)
no subject
[ Short and clipped. ]
Either you move around your appointment -- or I move it around for you. So think about the value of the patient you have filling my slot for a minute there, Chilton. Think about if you really want to lose them for good. And you know what? I bet there is no patient in the slot at all. You're probably just bluffing. It's not like you're that much in demand.
no subject
[He had wanted to move April from Saturday to Friday evening, and thus liberate his weekend for Raina. Chilton clenched and unclenched his jaw, questioning how Walt could even discover who usurped his old spot -- it seemed so unlikely, it wasn't like the man still had Abduxel.
But Chilton measured the risk. He considered how Walt had surprised him before, how Walt could use new angles -- like dopamine -- in ways more horrifying than sheer violence. Chilton took a deep breath --]
All right. I'll move it. Your old hour, fine, you can reclaim it. Are we settled?
(no subject)