- IC CONTACT POST FOR MASKORMENACE -

[slightlyoffchilt]

"Hello.

You've reached the direct line of Doctor Frederick Chilton. As I am not available at the moment, you might assume I'm quite busy with something pressing. State your name and business, and I will return your call."

Comments

#yolo, text it

[crotchstallion]

Oh Doctor, please help me with your big strong psychiatric brain, for I am in desperate need of therapy! I can't go on living without your hypercritical observations and canned advice! The party was soooooo traumatic, so much blood, so much screaming. My heart! It was aflutter from all the chaos!

💎 💎 We never go out of style 💎 💎

[slightlyoffchilt]

[Oh my god, he thinks.]

Jeff, is this you? Did you register a new phone?

[But the sarcasm, while certainly Winger's domain, seemed a little excessive. Not to mention that Chilton had never witnessed Jeff's use of crazy diamond emotes shining on.]

I'll agree that you're in desperate need of therapy, yes.

[crotchstallion]

Wow, you are on the money. Guess psychology isn't a pseudo-science after all!

💎 💎 We never go out of style 💎 💎

[He briefly considered disabling his automatic text signature but eh, he'll leave it on. Eventually the jig will be up and by that time, he'll have had his fun.]

[slightlyoffchilt]

Deflection is just one of many masks. You saw my ad, I presume?

[Was the ad an unnecessary risk unlikely to bear fruit? Chilton is going to say... No. Because it was his idea.]

[crotchstallion]

Damn, I thought maybe I'd be a more convincing Jeff than that. Oh well.

Pretty primo ad-space, I think the better question is who didn't.

💎 💎 We never go out of style 💎 💎

[slightlyoffchilt]

Perhaps spent some more time with Mr. Winger, I'm sure he would be enthusiastic about the proposition.

Outreach is crucial in times of crisis. But crisis is also somewhat subjective. I take it that isn't why you're contacting me?

[crotchstallion]

Mmmm. ⤴ Gonna have to make a date with him then. What a great bod, am I right?

Yes, no, not really, but technically yes. Eh. /I/ don't think it's necessary, but doctors keep saying I should see someone since I was dead before I came here, and then there was all the gas and so now they're reeeally going on about trauma counseling. Blah blah blah.

It's not a thing where I'm from. I mean, it is, but everyone's got something so psychiatry became a useless exercise after a certain point in history. When everyone is nuts, gotta just be the natural order.

Maybe you could just give me a letter to get the doc off my back and we'd be cool. :) 👍

💎 💎 We never go out of style 💎 💎

[slightlyoffchilt]

Jeff Winger is a friend of mine. I will not inappropriately comment upon his physical appearance.

[But what about appropriately comment? Chilton kind of left that door open, didn't he?]

Which doctors? [The doctors, which is significantly vague. That in of itself clues Chilton into what a potential case this might be; the individual on the other end might have had some medical history, mental or otherwise, and he might have been cavalier about it. But it wasn't the flippancy that concerned Chilton; it was the implicit taunting at him. So quick to make this personal.]

I'd like to see what I can do for you.

[A letter of exemption. Really. That was so unlikely, but Chilton needed to lure the man into his office first.]

What is your schedule like? I would indeed need to see you in person first.

[crotchstallion]

Oh my god, I dunno. They all look the same - bland, pretentious, and terrified at the same time while reeking of ineptitude. Someone at the hospital in Heropa, been seeing them since I ported in about my injuries I had when I arrived. Beginner reading materials said the nanites would flip otherwise, so I've been on my best behavior. (:

SooOOOOooo busy, what with managing a store and all. But if you /have/ to see me, most of my free time is in the evening, so maybe if you wanted to get a drink or a late dinner...? ;)

💎 💎 We never go out of style 💎 💎

[slightlyoffchilt]

I doubt it would be much of a limb to crawl out upon to suggest that you have some issue with authority.

[Medical authority, specifically. But Chilton wasn't personally invested in physical medical health; in fact, this individual's scorn tickled him. That was the impact of decades spent mourning what could have been, with regards to his fantasized surgical career.]

I'm able to accommodate. [Maybe an ethical psychiatrist would take issue to holding session outside a designated office. But Chilton had already routinely held sessions in bars and cafes, diners and restaurants and parks.] I would prefer a bar, if it's all the same to you.

let's pretend there wasn't a delay before his response

[crotchstallion]

Clap it out, Freud. You deserve an award.

[He was actually not at all comfortable with this, knowing enough to be hyper-aware of how he would rather not be picked apart while still trying to establish a persona here.

But a bar is wonderful and maybe he could get this guy drunk enough that none of it would matter. Potentially a win for him.]

A man after my own heart! I willingly submit myself to your expertise, doctor. 🍻 Let's get that appointment penciled in then.

💎 💎 We never go out of style 💎 💎

no worries!

[slightlyoffchilt]

I have openings in September. Of course, the environment I'm prescribing allows for more timely leeway.

[It wasn't the disdain for the process he was surprised by -- one reason why Chilton opted for the unorthodox setting, he hoped to dislodge his soon-to-be patient that way. But the fact that this man contacted him (even considering the claimed duress of being mandated psychiatric help) seemed to suggest a need for an audience.]

Consider yourself in control of the scheduling.

[One of those ironic things that Chilton sometimes said to other people.]

[crotchstallion]

["Consider yourself in control," haha, he likes this guy! A little, not too much. That'd cut too much into his self-love, and he can't have that.]

I know a great place that does karaoke Friday nights right here in Heropa. Starts at 8 o' clock. How's the 11th sound, mi amigo?

💎 💎 We never go out of style 💎 💎

[slightlyoffchilt]

Karaoke. Ideally something more quiet and intimate. I am planning to examine, after all. Psychologically.

The 11th works well.

[crotchstallion]

Alright, I know a place that has those little booths with curtains that you can close, but it usually involves being the generous patron of a flexible and talented lass or lad. ;) ;)

Kidding, of course. [insert classy lounge music-y bar here] has a nice set up. Does that meet your standards, Doctor?

💎 💎 We never go out of style 💎 💎

[slightlyoffchilt]

My standards have been met. I will be sure to dress accordingly.

But don't worry about any absent, flexible lad or lass -- that is a topic I intend to hit with you.