- IC CONTACT POST FOR MASKORMENACE -

[slightlyoffchilt]

"Hello.

You've reached the direct line of Doctor Frederick Chilton. As I am not available at the moment, you might assume I'm quite busy with something pressing. State your name and business, and I will return your call."

Comments

[selfequipped]

Then what are you getting at?

[slightlyoffchilt]

You don't want me to answer, Kate, not wholly. You want to argue with me.

[selfequipped]

You don't know me at all.

[slightlyoffchilt]

And you very clearly don't know me at all.

I suggest we keep it that way.

[selfequipped]

[There's a long pause.]

Fine.

[And her hanging up.]

phone call, like 10 pm on April 24th

[reptiledysfunction]

[ring ring ring.

guess who turned into a lizard and wants reassurance, Frederick? :c ]

[slightlyoffchilt]

Hello? This is Doctor Chilton and it is ten at night.

[Caller ID denoted Connors, but Chilton tends to give his patients that moment of agency to introduce themselves -- names can be so important.]

[reptiledysfunction]

[You get rewarded for that moment of agency by having a panicky mess of Curt Connors on your hands.]

I know it's late, but I've been thinking about what to do for the past few hours and- [pause, deep breath.] Ah, it's Curt Connors, Doctor Chilton. I...it happened today. My not-so-little and scaley problem mad an...appearance.

[slightlyoffchilt]

All right. [A beat. He adopts his most soothing, careful therapist voice:] Are you in a safe place now, Curt? Are you unharmed?

[reptiledysfunction]

I'm fine. A little bruised and banged up but I'm fine. And...I'm back at my house. It was the safest place I could think of.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Good, then you're okay. You're in a safe environment.

What happened, Curt?

[reptiledysfunction]

It was at the science expo. There was an accident, and I got...something spilled on me.

I couldn't stop the change. And I know people got hurt.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Curt, listen to me -- what happened, what you're still processing, you cannot lay blame to yourself immediately. It's important that you catalog how events played out. It's important that you pinpoint when you became something you are not usually.

I understand that you will feel guilt about this, but there is a question of agency involved.

[reptiledysfunction]

[sorry Chilton, can't hear you over low self-esteem and crippling doubt.]

No, it is my fault. It was my actions that made the Lizard, any mayhem that animal causes is my fault.

[slightlyoffchilt]

But you never intended for that specific outcome, did you? As unfortunate as it is, and there's hardly denying any of that, such a consequences does not make you inherently a bad person.

[No comment on guilt again, not yet. Baby steps, Curt.]

[reptiledysfunction]

You're right. I didn't intend for that outcome...but there was so much I could have done to prevented it.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Hindsight is twenty-twenty, of course -- of course you feel responsible, and in no way would I invalidate that. But I trust you've analyzed your actions and their hypothetical consequences deeply. You're running yourself into the ground, aren't you?

[reptiledysfunction]

[Yes. Yes he is.]

Well what else can I do?

[slightlyoffchilt]

You can recognize that your intention has some importance, too. You never intended catastrophe, and while you could have done different things to prevent this outcome, you surely would have if only you had known what would happen.

Is that not true?

[reptiledysfunction]

That...I guess you're right. If I could have changed it, I would have. After all, if I knew what had happened I wouldn't...well, I wouldn't go to the talk for one.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Exactly. This particular consequence was unforeseeable -- and it's damaging to invoke excess guilt because of it, Curt. The very fact you feel any guilt is a sure sign of your humanity, of course, but an onslaught of anything can be damaging to your mental state. That guilt feeds into regret, and self esteem issues, and -- Well. We don't want a vicious cycle, do we?

[reptiledysfunction]

You're right. We don't. But people still got hurt--I can't not feel guilty about that.

[slightlyoffchilt]

And the best way to counter that guilt is to take measures to secure yourself, next time this happens. So you cannot be in a position to hurt anyone. Don't you think so?

[reptiledysfunction]

I do.

The problem here was that the expo was so public. I don't know if there even was a place where I could go.

[slightlyoffchilt]

[Chilton exhales, slowly, considering. When he speaks, it's gentle. Calm.

Helpful.]

What if we built something for you? At the hospital? A sort of -- safe haven?