- IC CONTACT POST FOR MASKORMENACE -

[slightlyoffchilt]

"Hello.

You've reached the direct line of Doctor Frederick Chilton. As I am not available at the moment, you might assume I'm quite busy with something pressing. State your name and business, and I will return your call."

Comments

call;

[slightlyoffchilt]

He is more likely to consider you a threat than not, I imagine.

call;

[textualhealing]

A lot of guys consider me a threat. It's my charm and good looks. I'm still not seeing him as anything too big bad though, unless we're talking fashion choices. Between the lot of us, with our powers combined, we can Planeteer that Eco-Villain's ass.

call;

[slightlyoffchilt]

Please do not use such a reference while in his company.

call;

[textualhealing]

Captain Planet offends you?

call;

[slightlyoffchilt]

This is not a circumstance that beckons cartoon allusions.

call;

[textualhealing]

[Chilton is speaking to the guy who mentally animated an accidental overdose.]

Might lighten the mood if we did.

call;

[slightlyoffchilt]

It isn't the mood that needs lightening, Jeff.

call;

[textualhealing]

Man, I didn't take you for such a buzzkill.

call;

[slightlyoffchilt]

This is why you require my services. Think of it as a reality check.

Check made out to me, of course.

call;

[textualhealing]

Something ironic about requesting a reality check in this pan fandom, alternate universe, multiple timeline kinda place.

call;

[slightlyoffchilt]

Now you really sound like a lunatic.

call;

[textualhealing]

Except for the part where it's all true, douche.

call;

[slightlyoffchilt]

Regardless, this is our reality now. And the sooner you accept that, the sooner we can address your insecurity issues.

call;

[textualhealing]

What insecurity issues?

call;

[slightlyoffchilt]

The fact that you rely so heavily upon the merit of your physicality that the fear of losing any edge paralyzes you?

call;

[textualhealing]

Bullshit. People adore my charm and wit. My good looks are just a bonus. You're the one with insecurities.

call;

[slightlyoffchilt]

Deflection is usually a sign of insecurity.

call;

[textualhealing]

Ugh, you won't even believe how hard I want to hurt you sometimes.

call;

[slightlyoffchilt]

Ah, yes. Your repressed... Tensions, shall we say, once more finding the light.

call;

[textualhealing]

I'm hanging up now. We can talk again when you stop being an asshole. Which is pretty much never.

call;

[slightlyoffchilt]

Well, do have fun! Hanging up! And dealing with your excessively high expectations!

call;

[textualhealing]

Because expecting someone to not be an asshole is a high expectation? Yeah. Way to be an asshole, asshole.

[HANGING UP! >(]