- IC CONTACT POST FOR MASKORMENACE -

[slightlyoffchilt]

"Hello.

You've reached the direct line of Doctor Frederick Chilton. As I am not available at the moment, you might assume I'm quite busy with something pressing. State your name and business, and I will return your call."

Comments

[hostage]

I don't even know what the fuck that means.

[References to epic poetry aside, he doesn't get how he can be an echo of something when he's right here. Alive and present. If anything, it's the future that's the echo.]

[slightlyoffchilt]

I doubt you want me to explain it to you, but I've got you for the remainder of the hour -- essentially, Walt will continue to chase any flicker of hope that you are the same man he remembers. You aren't, of course. You've changed, you have transformed, and ironically because of him. You'll continue to change.

Your compounds have a new sequence. Different bonds.

[Perhaps a chemical metaphor, then.]

He loves what was, and what could have been. And that right there, Jesse, that is your lifeline.

[Chilton was always aware of the future, but Jesse couldn't have known.]

[hostage]

[He'll be picking up The Divine Comedy right after this session, don't you worry, Chilton. He hates not knowing things. For now, he gets the gist of what's being said.]

So I just... pretend I'm not changing? Play like I'm the kid I used to be?

[slightlyoffchilt]

Precisely.

[Chilton grins widely, practically glowing with a sort of self-preening pleasure; he had never truly appreciated the art of teaching, but perhaps there was something simply inherent to Jesse Pinkman that elicited an impulse for mentorship. Perhaps Walt really had a knack for picking them.]

Lull him into security. Reassure him in ways he expects.

[hostage]

[Jesse takes a step back. That sounds... like possibly decent advice. Like it just might be what would please Walt the most. But Jesse has to question anything Chilton might offer that seems remotely helpful, because no matter what he says, helping Walt is certainly not the agenda. There's an angle somewhere, and Jesse doesn't want to end up a tool for whatever it is.]

...Maybe.

[slightlyoffchilt]

[Chilton won't press the issue; coming on too hard, too quickly, that's a radiant way to catch solar scrutiny -- and nothing disinfects light sunlight. So the doctor shrugged, restraining the beam on his lips.]

Only a suggestion, of course. It doesn't require you to put anyone else before him, anyway.

[Since Jesse had such issue with that.]

But his feelings aside -- how are you handling this? Emotionally?

[hostage]

[Dismissively:]

Fine. I'm fine.

[He didn't really come here to talk about himself.]

[slightlyoffchilt]

I hope you don't expect me to believe that.

[hostage]

[Jesse lifts an eyebrow, like - Really? No one actually gives a shit how he feels. Regardless of the pretense surrounding this meeting, he didn't expect that to be different with Chilton.]

I dunno. I been worse. Who cares?

[slightlyoffchilt]

I care enough to inquire. [Which wasn't a commitment of any sort.] And because you sought me out for a reason, had you not? Were you looking for a support group?

[hostage]

[Jesse huffs out a short laugh and drops back into his seat.]

I was looking for answers, not help. I don't think there's any way you can help me.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Why would you say that? [A mild question.] Don't you want help? Or, at the very least, some mental sanctuary?

[hostage]

I'm so fucking beyond help, it's hilarious. And I sure as hell ain't gonna find sanctuary with you.

[slightlyoffchilt]

I'm sensing some hostility, Mr. Pinkman.

[hostage]

My hostility's usually a little more hostile. I'm just saying you suck at your job.

[slightlyoffchilt]

And I'm saying you're woefully wrong. [Chilton rolled his eyes, glancing at the clock. Typical heel digging wasn't interesting to him, which was perhaps why he favored the narcissists as patients. They loved to talk about themselves.]

Now we've both said things.

[hostage]

Am I boring you? Were you hoping you'd get to see me cry?

[slightlyoffchilt]

Tears don't really do it for me, quite honestly. I'm not that kind of psychiatrist.

Or didn't you know?

[hostage]

Should I talk about the people I killed? Is that what does it for you?

[slightlyoffchilt]

Doesn't really count if you healed them right back up, now does it?

[A bit of a taunt. If one could cloak saving lives beneath disdain, it was Chilton.]

[hostage]

It doesn't work like that.

[slightlyoffchilt]

That must relieve some guilt, then. You can't bring people back from the dead, only their death knell.

You owe those types nothing.

[hostage]

It doesn't relieve any guilt. That's stupid. That doesn't even make any sense.

[slightlyoffchilt]

You have to accept your limitations at some point. Can't save them all.

[hostage]

You think I don't know that?