- IC CONTACT POST FOR MASKORMENACE -

[slightlyoffchilt]

"Hello.

You've reached the direct line of Doctor Frederick Chilton. As I am not available at the moment, you might assume I'm quite busy with something pressing. State your name and business, and I will return your call."

Comments

[slightlyoffchilt]

She didn't choose you for her benefit.

[textualhealing]

Sure she didn't. So you really think she just did it for you?
Was it for you?
It's ok. I'm used to guy friends having crushes on me.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Don't make this uncomfortable. It was just a miscommunication.

[textualhealing]

It's not uncomfortable for me.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Oh, it's never uncomfortable for you, is it? The only proof I have that you can even feel discomfort is the fact that you live with Will and April.

[textualhealing]

And even then I spend half my time congratulating them about their sexcapades while simultaneously dealing with Sharkbait humping my leg. Me and discomfort don't really see eye to eye.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Personally I blame your incessant need for stimulation. Of any kind. But mainly attention.

[textualhealing]

How can you blame attention? Everyone craves attention. Me wanting attention doesn't make me some special snowflake, it's just human nature. You pressing every red button ever and poking every bear with a stick is just your version of attention seeking.

[slightlyoffchilt]

False comparison. I don't treat attention like an addictive substance.

Unlike SOME people.

[textualhealing]

Omg srsly? Mr Chief of Staff I Write Prestigious Books and Like Pissing Off Crazies Look At Me is trying to deny his addiction to attention? That's cute. At least the attention I crave is healthy for me.

[slightlyoffchilt]

I am going to interpret your little tirade as a gesture of concern, Jeff.

[textualhealing]

Should I be concerned? What shit have you gotten yourself into lately, Fred?

[slightlyoffchilt]

I am still living, am I not? Honestly, I'm trying to reassure you. My investment in my career is not some perilous endeavor.

As much as it is not attention seeking.

[textualhealing]

Totally attention seeking.

I'd still prefer you not to die though, Chilts. I've invested a lot into this supposed friendship and I don't want my time wasted by a death.

[Because obviously Chilton's death isn't about him dying, it's about what Jeff loses in the process. Everything is about Jeff.]

[slightlyoffchilt]

I appreciate the honesty of your investment. But I assure you -- Raina is a comprehensive bodyguard. She truly has everything covered.

[textualhealing]

You paying her for that or is love payment enough? I'm after a bodyguard myself and they don't come cheap.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Her commitment is currently a full-time affair. Might I recommend Bela? She has a few sharp body parts.

[textualhealing]

Nope. She has things to do other than protect my sorry (but perfectly formed) ass. I got a few people in mind, don't worry about me, Fred. I know you were.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Surely you intend me to vet your potential protection here.

[textualhealing]

Do you actually want to vet them?

[slightlyoffchilt]

You won't take into account what I want. But would you want to risk a bodyguard with a personality disorder?

[textualhealing]

Depends on the personality disorder.
I don't think you actually care about the disorder, Chilts. I think what you care about is having some level of control over my life.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Surely you would be more upset if I didn't take enough interest to involve myself in your life. Control notwithstanding.

[textualhealing]

I do like the idea of you wasting your time on my behalf.
Recommend me imPorts, psychslave.

[slightlyoffchilt]

What about Power Girl? She seems like your type, in fact.