slightlyoffchilt | - IC CONTACT POST FOR MASKORMENACE -

And it's what, twice the size as yours?

Oh, you have NO idea of the people I know, Chilts.

Is it because I think they possibly exist, and in actuality they do not?

No. It's because I know far more people than you'd probably want me to know. I get around.

All talk until you produce names. Trust me, I am an expert on talking.

That's not gonna happen. Just look at how popular I am on the network and you'll get an idea. I cant discuss specifics though.

So you're only committing halfway to this delusion? I also talk with a good many people on the Network, Jeff, doesn't mean there's mutual affection involved.

Lucifer and Will, right? And Bela?

Sure. I know Matthew too. And Mike. Raina, Kitty, April, Abigail, basically the whole of that household, Mitch, Ray and a bunch of others. I'm just a likeable kinda guy.

[None of this is information that can't be found on public network. There's definitely a few names he's leaving out.]

I also know all of those people except for Mike -- who sounds unprofessional -- and Ray, who seems to have lost his mond.

Still a bit sad, Jeff. Can't you do better?

Hey Mike is a fuckin saint and I won't have a bad word said against him. Can't we both just accept that we're seeing other people and allow this to be an open friendship?

I can accept the terms of an open friendship, yes.

Do you need anything else for our open friendship romp? Maybe one bottle of wine isn't enough.

I'm open to suggestions that don't involve dicks.

You protest that a lot. Perhaps too much.

Yup. You got me. I'm actually gay. I've been hiding it all this time. Srsly tho have you ever been to Balls Deep? Best gay bar in Heropa. They fuckin love me there.

Two things: I wouldn't assert you were homosexual, Jeff. Not completely. But anything short of that is fair game.

And no, suffice to say I have not. Is that where you want to take me?

I do like dick the best. Trouble is, it's only my dick I like. I find male form the most attractive, but only mine. In fact, if I could be me-sexual, that is a thing I would be. If you wanna come to this bar you're welcome to it. They'd accept you as one of their own straight away. It's the camp queen sass. We just gotta establish straight away that we're not together ok?

You might be the most narcissistic person I have ever met, and I once enforced the treatment of serial killers. Good thing yours isn't malignant.

And, rude.

You say that like loving yourself is a bad thing. If everyone was like me, body image would be a thing of the past. [No it wouldn't. Jeff still strives for perfection, constantly desperate for people to like him.]

It was a compliment.

Do you consider me your sass content friend? Is that our relation? Quippy and lighthearted?

I don't think 'lighthearted' really depicts either one of us too well, Chilton. You still trying to establish your place in all this? Do you need me to put you in that place? Because I will.

As much as this is bait for me to implore that you "put me in my place", I'm curious to know your legitimate answer.

I dunno. I guess I consider to a quippy, sassy friend, sure. I also consider you annoying, an asshole and a high class troll.

I am going to include that as testimony for prospective clients from now on.

I've already provided you with one winning testimony to your ad. You really do demand too much, Chilts. High maintenance. That's another one.

As if having standards and rational expectations is something of a negative? I think not.

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