slightlyoffchilt | - IC CONTACT POST FOR MASKORMENACE -

You're offering to be my armchair psychiatrist?

Sure. I can do that. I'm a good listener.

[No he's not.]

I am not in need of psychiatric help, Jeff.

Edited 2015-09-04 02:45 (UTC)

Needing someone to listen to you problems and needing a psychiatrist aren't the same thing. I guess I'm offering the former. Or none at all. I mean if you wanna pay me I'm willing to try the latter too, how hard can it be?

Your offer is noted. Not accepted, of course, but noted.

Should I bring over anything else, along with the wine? My dignity?

Nah you'd just lose that pretty much immediately in this household. If it's not a dog humping your leg it's a raccoon trying to restyle your hair.

[Jeff has somehow grown to tolerate it. Mostly because the pull of friends and company is stronger than his need to not have raccoons on his head.]

I require photographic evidence of these anecdotes happening to you personally.

Come over and you'll get to witness them. You'll get to partake too.

I have already dedicated my time for you, don't persuade me otherwise.

Hey, I'm just giving you prior warning of what to expect when you come over. I'd hate for anything to be sprung on you suddenly. Out of the blue. Like barely clothed women.

You cannot blame me for Raina's impulsive nature. Moreover, she thought she was doing us both a favor.

Did she now?

She had interesting ideas. About us. And the nature of our friendship.

Ugh. Chilton. What had you been saying to her?

Nothing of note. "Jeff and I are going to the bar tonight"?

She doesn't like me to have male friends, perhaps.

You sure you weren't telling her about how good looking I am? I seriously wouldn't judge an observation like that.

I can assure you that did not cross my lips. Friendship, especially platonic friendship, is something of a new concept for Raina.

Pretty new for you too, huh?

I am more willing to embrace it for what it is.

What do you see it as, Fred?

We are men of similar tastes and similar personality traits who enjoy similar things. That seems harmless enough, doesn't it?

Totally harmless. You got many other friends, Chilts?

Obviously I do. I have Will Graham, and Reggie Mantle and Matthew Lin.

[Two of which were employees, and one of which was a former patient.]

And Kanaya Maryam.

[Also a patient. And a teenage girl.]

And Bela and I did brunch.

That's a pretty sad list.

And it's what, twice the size as yours?

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